Category: Anne Mercier
I just got back from getting lab work done. I am dysfunctional at the moment. I can’t remember words. It’s terrifying and happens frequently. I’ll be trying to write and I know what I want to say but I can’t remember the word. I’ve also been losing my balance. My face goes numb (cheeks). I get migraines. I’m cold all the time. And, as usual, I’m exhausted. I’m freaking out thinking it’s a brain tumor or something (it’s so not). It might just be side effects of the medications I’ve been put on, but I am hoping I’ll find out soon. This is scary.
I think, even though it’s a short story, it’ll be worth the wait.
I am still being asked: When is Xan Book 2 coming out?
Well, folks… it’s like this: This isn’t just any book I’m working on. You all know this. This is Xander and Tera that I’m working on now. Remember: I have to make sure to tie up all the loose ends because, honestly, I want their happily ever after to be complete with this book which means no novellas for them as I’m reaching the end of the series. And think of all the details I have to make sure are correct from all the novels(7), novellas(1), and short stories(5) written– this takes time.
I’m not making excuses, merely letting you know I’m working on it at a pace that feels right for me and the story.
I will not rush to finish this book.
If I did that, it wouldn’t have all the “feels” in it because I would be writing it just to finish it and not putting my soul into it. That’s not fair to the characters and, honestly, it’s not fair to me because I try very hard to put out the best book I can.
I don’t have a date and won’t announce one until the first draft is complete.
As I can only write so fast, I’d like to–once again–ask for your patience.
To be kept up to date on all announcements, keep following this page, subscribe to my newsletter, follow me on social media, join the AM Famiglia group on Facebook where you’ll get all the information PLUS exclusive content. It’s an active group and one filled readers who’ve become friends and, even, family.
Xander and Tera are coming…
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Today another author had a post on her blog about depression and her battle. It’s a battle we never win, but she’s inspired me to tell you all my story. Here goes.
The last four months have been dark ones for me. Very dark and lonely… even though I’m surrounded by so many people. One mistake triggered the darkness, my ugly depression that’s haunted me since a very young age.
It’s felt as if one mistake has turned me into a failure, one mistake has damaged the self-esteem I worked so hard to get, one mistake has taken so much from me I can no longer see the light. Throw in newly diagnosed illnesses and “friends” erasing you from their lives, and *ding ding ding* depression is the winner. Depression amplified every negative feeling at least ten-fold.
Now, I’m good at putting on a brave face, pretending to be what and who I’m supposed to be. This time I couldn’t even do that. I haven’t wanted to do all the things that make me happy: talk with you all, read, and, most importantly, write. The stories are there, I just haven’t been able to bring myself to rest my hands on the keyboard and bring them to life. I’ve wanted to sleep, binge watch Netflix and forget about everything…I’ve wanted to be numb. It’s easier to feel nothing than to feel the pain.
The writer’s retreat I went on? It’s pulled the string on the blinds and the light is starting to creep in. It’s shown me that I’m not alone in this. It’s not just me. Depression is a bitch and she is not my friend. She’s no one’s friend. She’s a weakness we can’t control, one that drags us down into nothingness and makes us stay there whether we want to or not.
Now comes the hard part–the crawling toward the light, inch by inch, until I’m able to step into the sun, step into life, tilting my head back, my face raised to the sky, arms spread wide open, as I embrace the happiness again. That’s going to take some time, but I hope I’ll be able to give you all the words again soon. I hope I’ll be able to stand in the sun soon. But, until then, please continue to be patient with me. It helps me, so much, to know you all are there.
If depression has you and she’s trying to choke you, I feel your pain; but, please, don’t let her win. Fight. We’ll all be standing right beside you anytime you need us.
I often get asked on how I see Jesse, what is voice sounds like, etc. This is the perfect example of how I see Jesse Kingston from Falling Down. The voice, the tattoos, the piercings, shades, but a bit taller at 6′ 3″
Let me answer your questions. I keep getting a lot of them.
- Is it out? No, I’m afraid not.
- When will it be coming out? I’m not sure right now.
- You said it was coming out in July. Where is it?
I sent a message out in my newsletter on June 12th explaining what’s going on. I’d like to ask you to subscribe so you can be up to date on releases, etc., and to find out important information like this. SUBSCRIBE HERE
I’ve been diagnosed with stage 3A kidney disease and I also had a kidney infection as well. My infection cleared up but I’m learning to manage my disease with diet and supplements so it’s taking a great deal time. Just when I think I have the hang of it, something new pops up and messes up my lab numbers. There is no quick cure for kidney disease, unfortunately.
I won’t lie. I’m exhausted. Like, all the time. I could sleep 24/7 if allowed.
I’m not looking for pity or sympathy. I’m just filling you in on why the books are delayed. If I’m not healthy, I can’t write…and right now, I’m not healthy.
Thanks for understanding ♥
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BN: Coming soon
©2016 Anne Mercier
Tomorrow I’m officially moving to Prospect, New York—alone. Moving without the Fab Five is something that scares me down to my soul, but like Mrs. Davidson said, they would want me to go—to keep going.
They’d all be disappointed in my behavior since… the accident. I know it and they know I know it. I feel them watching me sometimes.
Sometimes I think I can smell Danny—that scent of his Old Spice body wash. I grin as I remember teasing him about Old Spice. I told him my grandpa wore Old Spice. He told me to keep being a smartass because as soon as he was done showering I’d be eating my words—and I was. That body wash worked with his body chemistry so well, it was sexy as hell. Needless to say I never teased him about it again, just inhaled the scent of him as often as possible.
I lift up Danny’s football jersey and breathe in his scent. It’s faded, but it’s there and his. I slip the jersey over my head, pretending the fabric surrounding my body is his arms, his body—him. I wrap my arms around myself and rock back and forth, biting my lip and blinking rapidly to hold back the tears threatening to spill.
“Are you all packed?” my mom asks from the doorway.
I look up and nod.
“Do you have everything you need? We can make a run to the store if you’re missing anything.”
“I have everything, mom. And then some.”
She grins. “Well, you can’t blame a mother for wanting to make sure her baby girl has what she needs.”
“I’ll have enough body wash for the entire year,” I tease, relaxing my arms a little.
Mom walks over and sits beside me on the bed. “Then that’s one less thing I have to worry about.”
I’m not sure what to say. I know she worries and I can’t blame her, but… I sigh.
“Mom, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be okay.” Somehow I’ll find a way to be okay.
“Of course you will,” she agrees, so confident in those words I almost believe them. “That’s not why I’m worried. A mother will always worry about her children, no matter how young or old, near or far, and you’re going to be a long way from Destiny, North Carolina.”
I nod. “But it’s only a phone call, and we’ll Skype and Facetime.”
“We will, but it’s not the same as having you physically here where I can wrap my arms around you.”
That’s the truth. That’s exactly how I feel about Danny in this moment. I have his scent and his shirt, memories and love in my heart, but he’s not here anymore. None of them are. Cassidy would be here right now, reassuring me about how we’ll all fit in perfectly at Prospect University and that I’m freaking out for nothing. Phillip would be crude, talking about all the chicks he’s going to “bang”—which would have been as many as he could. Simon would have found a way to make us all laugh about the scariest things, and I would have hugged and loved everyone until we all found our calm.
Now it’s just me.
But I can do this.
Maybe if I tell myself that enough times, I’ll actually start to believe it.